This Lamb Sells Condos

This is the first in a series of posts on city-related pop songs.


Photo by Chiron Bramberger on Flickr

Owen Pallett doesn’t like condos. This is abundantly clear in “This Lamb Sells Condos,” a song on his most recent Final Fantasy record, He Poos Clouds, winner of this year’s Polaris Music Prize for best new Canadian album. The Lamb in question is Brad Lamb, a Toronto condo broker whose billboards, including one with Lamb’s face photoshopped onto the body of a sheep, are found throughout the city. “The lyrics of Pallett’s song are a scathing psychoanalysis of Lamb and his colleagues in the loft and condominium development business, as well as a critical look at the costs — emotional and communal — of urban growth,” Torontoist informs us. Pallet himself elaborates, explaining that “these condos make me wickedly mad. It is turning Toronto into the architectural equivalent of a Glade Plug-In.”

But don’t expect a polemic in “This Lamb Sells Condos.” Instead, its lyrics are decidedly off-kilter and tongue-in-cheek, set to a gorgeous piano composition. The song isn’t so much a personal attack on Lamb as a poke at condo promoters in general, big-ego characters who have gleefully reduced urban life to a kitschy brand. “There’s a merchant in our midst and with a barrel fist / He’s coloured every surface, he’s slapped up a portrait / And yes, it is his own! He’s gonna take your home!” sings Pallett. “Look! Over the treetops! / Newly conjured erections are making him a killing / And Richmond St. is illing, so the graduates are willing / To buy in to the pillage, now there is no hope for the village.”

Click here to download “This Lamb Sells Condos.” The lyrics are after the jump.

This Lamb Sells Condos
Final Fantasy, He Poos Clouds (Sonic Unyon, 2006)

No hope for the village, no hope for the village
There’s a merchant in our midst and with a barrel fist
He’s coloured every surface, he’s slapped up a portrait
And yes, it is his own! He’s gonna take your home!
Have you seen our visitor? Look! Over the treetops!
Newly conjured erections are making him a killing
And Richmond St. is illing, so the graduates are willing
To buy in to the pillage, now there is no hope for the village

Prisoners, be silent, be silent and be sharp

When he was a young man, he conjured up a firemare
And burnt off both his eyebrows and half a head of hair
And then as an apprentice, he took a Drowish mistress
Who bestowed upon his youthfulness a sense of champagne chic
Oh seduction, his seduction to the world of construction
Now his mind will start to wander when he’s not at his computer
Now his massive genitals refuse to cooperate
And no amount of therapy can hope to save his marriage

Prisoners, be silent, be silent and be sharp
Can you hear them talking? Listen through the wall:

Nothing to do, nothing to do
Living rent-free is boring me
Got no use for my PE Degree
Got no use for my pedigree

I feed you every morning and ask so little
But you belittle all the work that I do
When you take that walk without permission
I’m not defensive, I’m just saying this cause I love you
You know I hate it when your friends are in the pool
Old money stinks, send those faggots back to Forest Hill
Contentment? What contentment? I am bald and impotent
Is that what it’s about? Oh honey, honey, shut your mouth

Hedi Slimane
And Agnes B
I’m not content
I’m not content
Donna Karan
And Kara Saun
I’m not content
I’m not content

This entry was written by Christopher DeWolf , posted on Thursday November 02 2006at 08:11 pm , filed under Canada, Heritage and Preservation, Music, Society and Culture and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink . Post a comment below or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

3 Responses to “This Lamb Sells Condos”

  • KLB says:

    what’s your point?

    is it about the broker, the condos, or the singer songwriter?

    besides… “ads by google” at the bottom of the article lead the reader directly to condo sales websites.

    So you’re also trying to make money off condos….

    whatever.

  • mclin says:

    Thanks for the informative article. I’m glad this came up on top the google search instead of one of the countless crappy, bot populated lyrics sites.

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